Nice things, artfully arranged (2021)

this poem I read starts

           

that reminds me

 

as if all poems didn’t start with that premise

anyway

              anyway

 

that reminds me

   of a girlfriend I had once

who     had this terrifyingly   beautiful

      almost translucent  skin

 

& who through no one’s fault

would bruise   like a peach

 

always   wearing black tights to cover her shins

& thighs    as if this clumsiness    accidentally knocking

into things    was a    statement of intent

 

       I was reading this article about flower arrangement

(I know)       & the symbolism inherent

  

       like—they’re never just lilies      but rather

 

          vectors of condolence

 

  when my Maminka died

            my uncle’s friend      thoughtfully

    sent a bowl of fruit to the wake        which made

 

me laugh because I thought

           what could be worse

than crying tears into a fucking

kiwifruit?

 

        if you’d never seen a kiwifruit

   you’d think

         that’s a pretty shitty kinder surprise

 

do these trifles exist if I never tell you?

does this kit kat

                that I’m eating

       on the way home

if I hide the wrapper

               in my pocket?

 

     remember me telling you

about Heiko      the enthusiastic manager

     we had       in Germany

pushing us onto the stage in Greifswald?

               he said:

 

don’t forget to tell them how big you are back home!

 

      will this translate?

      does it leave a mark?

 

 bruises

I feel       are like accidental transfers

          temporary tattoos

 

      birthmarks

                                    like unwanted

      & permanent ones

 

   drawing our eyes away

like this garnish does     from the

   inevitable selection of cold meats

          at the wake

 

     creating diversions

         the way butterflies do

   from the fact that they are

really

                              just moths

 

I wonder if there’s a job

for someone with a PhD in English

      pairing vases with flowers

   to accentuate the symbolism?

 

shedding light on the less obvious

 

how do I go fitting all this in

one poem?

 

too many flowers

for this one vase

 

anyway       you can tell I don’t care

about the dishes being clean

 

it’s just easier than making conversation

with awkward relatives

scrubbing the dishes

            & wiping my hands on my good jeans

      

leaving such a small trace